From the Ashes
by ElisBell'sScribbles
Summary: From the ashes the phoenix will rise. Or so the legend says. But can Bella Swan truly rise when her both life and love get burnt to the ground because of a lie?  AU,AH.
1. Chapter 1truth

**A.N.:- Ok so this is my first attempt at writing a fan fiction. I originally wanted to fit everything in one chapter but then decided not to cramp the story like that. So this is going to be a short story. Hope you like it anyway.**

**Disclaimer- Stephanie Meyer owns the characters. I just make them do what I want.**

Bella Swan's eyes fluttered open as she took in her surroundings. Pale blue walls, the beeping of the monitor…yes she was still in the hospital…no big surprise there. Stress wasn't good for her pregnancy after all and they'd made her stay overnight for observation after she had collapsed after the meeting. The surprising element was that she wasn't alone. Her best friend…well ex-best friend… Alice was sitting beside her bed.

"A-alice?" her voice was almost a croak.

"You're awake." Her's was a distracted monotone, almost as if she were thinking of something else. "I'll buzz the nurse."

"Wh-why are you here?"

"I'm your emergency contact."

"Oh."

"I need to talk to you," Alice said, while Bella was signing her discharge papers.

"ok." There was once again a note of surprise in Bella's voice. Alice hadn't spoken to her since…since…she tried not to remember…

"_I love you. I missed you so much"…_

"_I'm pregnant."….._

"_h-how is that possible"….._

_Silence was her only reply so that he could make his assumptions._

"_You-you **cheated** on me?"_

_He was gone the next morning._

They were pulling up outside her new building by the time she had managed to pull herself back to the present.

They went in, Alice in the lead, and flopped down on the plush chairs in the sitting room.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

They sat in silence for a while, the pause anything but comfortable. Then Alice broke it.

"Why did you lie to my brother Bella?"

She couldn't answer. For a moment she thought she may have figured out the truth before realizing that she must be talking about cheating. After that she chose not to answer.

Unable to give her once-best friend any more time to answer, she burst out.

"Why did you tell my brother you cheated Bella? I don't know what happened to you but I know you didn't cheat on him."

"H-how?"

"You talk in your sleep."

"I-I-I" she stuttered

Alice ignored her and continued. "You know when Edward told me that you cheated on him I was so shocked. It seemed impossible that you'd do something like that. You were head over heels in love. You were excited about starting a new family as soon as his last stint in the army was over. You had it all planned out and you're not the kind of person to let that go for sex."

Bella couldn't feel the muscles of her face. It was as if it was numb. Her palms were dripping with sweat. Droplets beaded on her forehead as Alice forged on.

"Now I realize that the reason it seemed so impossible is because it is. So tell me Bells what really happened to you."

It was the stupid nickname that did her in. Her shoulders shook as sobs wracked her body. And then it all spilled out like a dam bursting. She could still see it in front of her eyes like a horror movie replying over and over and over…just like it did every night when she could no longer keep it from her consciousness with force.

"James-he-he…"

"The asshole who was working with you on that article? The one who kept hitting on you even after you told him you weren't interested?"

"Y-yes."

"What did he do Bella?" her voice was almost a growl.

It was so hard to force herself to say the words. Saying it out loud would make her nightmare real… the wondering hands, the bruising lips, the toss she'd taken, hitting her head on the corner of the coffee table, the taste of blood from her cut lip, the feel of it as it dripped down her face as she lay there dazed, the tearing off of her clothes despite her now feeble struggles, and finally…finally…

"He raped me." Her voice was dead, just as her soul had been from that day. Finding out that she was pregnant was the last nail on the coffin. Because at that moment she knew that the nightmare was as real as it gets. She also knew that any hopes of keeping Edward were gone. The nightmare would never end.

"Wha-oh! Bella!" Alice raised a shaking hand to her mouth. She had suspected something of the sort from the words Bella had muttered as she tossed and turned in her sleep but to have them confirmed…

They sat in silence for a while, tears dripping down Alice's face as Bella stared unseeingly at her clasped hands.

"Why didn't you just tell Edward? You know he would have helped you. I would have helped you!"

"I'm broken Alice. Beyond broken, I feel dead. No one deserves to be with someone like that. Edward deserves someone whole. Happy. Wh-when the divorce is finalized, he can move on and at least one of us will be happy."

"Did Edward look HAPPY to you when you saw him yesterday?"

No he hadn't. He had looked almost as bad as she felt. It was in the was he walked, the bruise-like dark circles around his eyes that matched hers, the way he wouldn't look at her, hell, even in the way he sat or spoke. The ordeal of seeing him and in that state had been too much for her. It was probably the reason she had collapsed.

But she still had arguments against telling him…sound arguments as she had told herself a million times in the last month.

"I don't want him to have to deal with this baby Alice. I couldn't kill it. I went to an appointment but I couldn't. It's innocent. But Alice I can't love it. I can't love my own baby! How can I expect him to love it when I can't? When I- when I'm…"

Her voice tapered off as she gave herself over to tears once more.

Alice held her, soothing her, till she was calm again.

When she spoke, her voice was gentle but firm.

"I think you should tell Edward. He deserves to know. If you leave him after that it's your choice but tell him the truth."

"Alice I can't. I really can't Alice! Saying it out loud to you was so hard. Telling him, letting him know that…I just can't!"

"Tell him or I will."

"Alice," Bella groaned.

"And Bella, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I should've-"

"You couldn't have done anything Ally. I practically told Edward I cheated on him. It's not like you believed someone else's words over mine."

"Thanks bells." She hugged her friend once more. "So what happened to the asshole?"

"He's running free. There wasn't enough evidence. I showered like the idiot I am. I just had to get his smell off me. Another reason I didn't tell anyone."

"SO THE RAT BASTARD IS RUNNING FREE AND CAN GET TO YOU AT ANY TIME?"

Bella flinched at the volume. She was still easily spooked which is why she's switched to a desk job at the paper.

"No. I got a restraining order and he's not from here anyway so he's probably gone back to New York by now. And I changed my house."

Alice still seemed dissatisfied but let it slide for the time being as there were more pressing matters to discuss.

"I'm going to send Edward over in a couple of days." She stated, going on with no heed to her friend's panicked expression. "You will tell him the truth then or I will."

"Alice," she whined

"No! Don't you Alice me! He deserves to know this if anyone does. And you will tell him. What you do after that, whether you run like the wind again or have awesome make up sex is up to you but you'll tell him."

"ok." She sighed. "You're right. I'll tell him."

"Good." Alice smiled for the first time all day. "And Bella you're not alone in this. You're my best friend and I'll help whatever way I can."

Silent tears leaked from Bella's eyes down her cheeks but for the first time in two months, a small smile graced her lips and a little piece of her soul came back to life from the ashes.

**A.N.:- Reviews are as welcome as make-up sex with Edward! :)**


	2. Chapter 2flashbacks

**A.N.:- ok so here's the new chapter. Hope you like it.**

**Someone asked me if James was the father. The answer is yes. He raped her and she got pregnant. The impossibility of it being Edward's baby will be explained further in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I only wish I did.**

Bella slipped her wedding band off her finger, then her engagement ring. Sighing, she strung them on a long silver chain, fastening it around her neck. The rings rested between her breasts, hidden from sight by her blouse. Her ring finger felt too light, wrong. But Edward was coming today. And Edward noticed the smallest details. She didn't want to go into the nitty-gritty's of why she was still wearing his rings. Not before he heard her out. She didn't feel like she had the courage to tell him anyway. A confrontation was the last thing she needed.

Bringing the chain out from beneath her top, she gazed at the rings, just remembering…

She had met Edward through Alice. For a long time that was all that he was to her, Alice's brother. She hardly ever saw him and when she did it was to vaguely think of how good looking all the Cullen kids seemed to be. But then last summer had changed things, changed them, in the best of ways. She was home from college that year, having secured a job there so she could be close to family and her old friend.

It was an evening in early June. She had been running over to Alice's to meet up when she tripped going up their front steps. He was coming down the steps at the time. He caught her but somehow the balance was off and they both managed to tumble down in a heap of tangled limbs and embarrassment. The rest, as they say, was history.

The rest of that summer had been a whirlwind and by July, they had declared their love for each other. By August, she had moved in with him. They were inseparable. Or very nearly so.

Edward had enlisted in the army before he met her. He was to go to Afghanistan that winter. They had both known it from the start. But that didn't stop Edward from finding Bella sobbing into the pillow one September afternoon when he had returned from a meeting about deployment. They'd talked about Edward's service then, a subject they'd both avoided heretofore. He told her that he regretted leaving her but not joining. But if she would wait, if she would only wait for the year and his stint to be over, he would never go back out there again. She had been quick to reassure him that she would. They had made love after that soft and tender, yet still passionate, their desperation and longing seeping through into every touch, every kiss.

He had proposed in late October, on Halloween actually, over candies and scary movies. It hadn't been planned. But he'd had a ring, having carried it in his pocket for weeks. In short, it had been perfect because it had been them.

They were married in December in an intimate ceremony in his parents' backyard. It had been snowing. She had been freezing as she walked down the isle on her father's arm. But one look at the pure joy on his face had warmed her like a shot of brandy. The day had been a complete blur. She didn't remember half of what went on. But she would always remember the look on his face when he first saw her walk down the isle… and when the minister declared them man and wife. The triumphant ecstasy on his face still haunted her, kept her up at night.

Bella quickly shook herself out of her reverie. Stuffing the rings back under her shirt, she stood up, glancing at the mirror once before averting her eyes. It was difficult to look herself in the eyes. The guilt was too much; the guilt of not being strong enough, the guilt of not fighting hard enough now mingled with the guilt of lying to Edward.

She should have realized that James was up to no good. When she was still an on field reporter for the paper, he had been assigned to work with her on an article. He was from New York. They were supposed to be reporting on a gang that had its activities both in Chicago and New York. They had never got along. She always got a strange vibe from him. He seemed to watch her when she wasn't looking. He'd make inappropriate comments that made her uncomfortable. She'd snap at him and he'd apologize though she was sure he never meant it. He'd use any excuse to touch her, only to have her jerk away. She had confided in Alice. Her friend had told her that she should report him but she hadn't wanted to cause unnecessary problems. He would be gone in a few weeks. Things would go back to normal. It was just one report. They'd finished it successfully. The scoop was a huge one and there had been a party. Never a big party animal, Bella had gone home early. She hadn't realized that he had followed her home. It was only when he was looming at the door she had carelessly left unlocked that she had understood her stupidity.

She still cringed at the unfairness of it all. A couple of months more and Edward would have been home. A couple of months more and none of this would have happened. But it had happened. And it was all because of her complacent stupidity.

A knock on the door broke her out of her reverie. Edward was here.

She rushed down the stairs and flung the door open.

Her next reaction was to slam it shut but the man at the door put his foot forward so that the door wouldn't close.

Panic gripped her, spinning the world in dizzy circles as she looked at the face of the man who starred in her nightmares.

James.

**A.N.:-Sorry for the cliffy. Couldn't help myself. My exams are coming up so it might take me a while to update but I will as soon as I can.**

**Reviews are as welcome as a December wedding with Edward. ( well not really but you get the point ..:P)**


	3. Chapter 3confrontation

**A.N.:- ok so here's the next chapter. Again I'm not sure when the next update will be. I can be next week or two months from now but I'll do my best to post within a week.**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing. Not Edward, not Jasper, no one! Ok? Ya happy? (Now I'm depressed)**

Adrenalin coursed through her veins as she realized that he was here for her, again. Her body jolted into action almost without her realizing it. She retreated, swift jerking backward steps, before spinning and making a dash for the stairs.

She felt his fingers graze her arm, just missing her. Her entire being revolted against the touch, panic pushed her to run faster than she ever had. The top of the stairs were in view.

Six steps.

Five.

Four.

Three.

A hand grasped her hair, yanking her back. She crashed into his body as his arms trapped her, going around her like steel girders, his breath hot in her ear.

James laughed at her struggles, her pathetic attempts to get away from him, "Did you really think a new house could keep me from finding you? You're mine! You've been mine since the first time I had you and I'll have you whenever I want. I'll find you wherever you go."

Her breath came in quick bursts at the thought of its happening again.

NO!

It couldn't happen again! She refused to feel weak, dirty, used and the million other painful emotions she had felt the last time.

Her struggles gained strength as they stood near the top of the stairs, grappling.

With all her strength she pushed him back.

He lost his footing but not his grip on her.

Together, they toppled down the stairs.

Pain.

It ripped through her as she lay on the floor in a heap.

Nothing made sense for a few moments except for the agony she felt that turned her world into a blur of colours as she fought for consciousness. She fought because even through the pain, she knew what giving in to the darkness would entail.

She couldn't see or feel James for a while. Then he was on her again.

Through the ringing in her head and the pain in her body, she thought she heard the doorbell. She didn't know if it was wishful thinking or if it had really rang but it gave her a small bit of hope.

With every bit of breath left in her body, she screamed. She screamed for help. She screamed as James, too carried away with his sick desire, continued to rip her clothes off her. She screamed for the one person who could make things right again. She screamed for Edward.

There was a crash in the hallway, the pounding of footsteps. Then James was off her again. Her eyes closed in relief.

Sounds of struggle, then nothing for a few seconds.

A voice calling her name, pleading with her to hold on. She knew this voice.

Her eyes fluttered open to the most beautiful face in the world.

"Edward," his name was a prayer as it left her lips.

Then darkness claimed her.

((((((((((((((((

The first thing she registered was the beeping of her alarm, then the pain in her body, and finally the soft weight of something resting against her hip.

Her eyes fluttered open to the white washed ceiling as she realize the beeping was actually not her alarm. She was at the hospital. For a moment she was confused as to how she got there. Then it came back in a rush, pulling forth a gasp from her lips.

The comfortable pressure at her hip lifted and Edward's face came into view, relief prominent in his features.

He called the doctor.

Then Alice came in, and her father who had been away at a professor's conference these past few weeks. He had been her other supporter through this whole mess. Though he hadn't even known the truth, he had still stood by her.

He stayed for an hour after the doctor checked her over. She had two broken ribs and a severe concussion. She had also lost her baby. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. Relief and guilt at feeling that relief were the emotions that warred within her.

Alice stayed a few minutes then she too left, promising to come back soon.

Now it was just her and Edward.

He sat on a chair beside the bed, staring at his hands.

The silence stretched, becoming awkward.

"I'm glad you're ok," Edward said gruffly, still looking at his hands. He grimaced, as though that wasn't what he had wanted to say at all.

"Thanks," Bella replied, quietly. "What happened to- to _him?_"

"He's in jail." He growled, "Being held for assault and battery. I didn't do too much damage, unfortunately. Just knocked him out. Shoulda killed him."

Her hand went to her throat to play with the chain which held her rings, a nervous tick, only to find it gone.

"Where- where did they go?" she cried looking around frantically as though hoping they would appear out of thin air.

"What?" Edward's tone was worried as her heart rate escalated.

"My- my rings," she said, shyly, her voice softer as she looked at her husband.

"Oh," he sighed, relieved, "they're with me. Here."

He took out the rings from his pocket. He looked at them for a moment, then looked at her.

Then he took her left hand which thankfully didn't have an IV in it. He slipped the rings on to her finger, gently, one at a time.

Her heart pounded in her chest as he held on to her hand, looking at the rings, his eyes soft. It was not from fear this time. it was love that sped it.

"Bella," he sighed her name, after a while.

"Yes?" her voice was no more than a whisper.

"I- I can't- I can't live without you Bella. I though t I could. You hurt me and I thought leaving was my best option. But I- I just- when I saw you yesterday, with that bastard on you and then later I thought you were dying, I realized that I can't. I can't live without you."

"What," her voice wavered, "what are you saying exactly?"

"I'm saying," he paused, his eyes holding hers, "I'm saying that we should give it another shot. Go to counseling. I know we can work through this. Yes we have issues but I'm sure we can solve them. I love you and well, we'll solve them together. That is of course if you want to."

She gaped at him as she realized what he was saying. He was ready to take her back even when he thought she had cheated on him. He said he loved her. She knew at that moment that even if she never told him the truth, things would still work out. He would want her regardless.

So she opened her mouth with this new conviction.

"Before you decide to take me back, there's something you should know." She took a deep breath, "I didn't cheat on you. Two months ago, James raped me. That's how I got pregnant."

**A.N:- ok so everything's out in the open now. What will Edward's reaction be? Well gimme reviews and I may become inspired enough to post soon!**


	4. Chapter 4phoenix

**A.N.- ok so this is the last chapter. Whether I write an epilogue or not is totally up to the readers. If you want one, I'll make one up. Sorry for the huge delay. I had my finals at college and after that I had a massive case of writer's block since I'd been away from the story too long. I thought it was time to put in a little bit of Edward's perspective into things. So here we are at last!**

**Disclamer- I don't own 'Twilight' or the characters. The phoenix idea is partly from Harry Potter and partly from Greek mythology.**

Edward helped Bella out of the car. They were at his apartment. He had refused to let her go back to her place and she hadn't argued. When he'd heard the truth, he had felt numb with shock. She'd looked at him, pleading with those big brown eyes not to hate her and all that came into his head was that he had to comfort her. So he'd held her, his grip gentle. He didn't know for how long.

Relief, horror and guilt battled in him since then. Relief that she hadn't cheated on him, horror at what she had been through and guilt at leaving her when she had needed him the most.

After a while though, a new emotion joined the waging war in his heart. Anger. Why did she lie to him? Why did she let him think such vile thoughts about her? Why didn't she let him be there for her when she was hurt?

He hid his feelings from her. Now was not the time for a confrontation. She was injured.

He'd helped her in any way possible at the hospital and planned to do the same now, like he should have been doing from the start. Like he would have been doing if she'd let him.

He should have known that she wouldn't let things go just like that.

They were watching or rather pretending to watch mindless sit-coms when she finally cracked.

"Damn it Edward, just spit it out."

"Spit what out?" he was feigning nonchalance not wanting her to see the tightly leashed anger or the accusations he wanted to hurl at her.

"Just tell me Edward. Stop worrying because of my injuries because I'll go crazy if you wait that long." Her voice was desperate, pleading.

"What do you want me to say?" his was flat.

"Anything. Anything, Edward. Please, it's better than this silence. I know it's not just going to get better but we should talk about this stuff and-"

And that was his breaking point right there. When _she_ had the audacity to tell _him_ that they should talk about stuff.

"You're absolutely right you know. We should talk about shit. So tell me Bella why didn't you tell me about what that bastard James did to you before? Did you not think that little tidbit important enough to share? Or is the sharing of information supposed to be only on my part?"

He waited, chest heaving, for some sort of explanation for her insanity. She simply looked at him with those sad eyes, shaking her head. "I don't know." She whispered finally.

"You don't-"he sputtered, "you don't _know_? It fucking broke me to think you'd cheat on me. I kept thinking maybe I'd been away too long, that there weren't enough phone calls, hell that maybe you didn't love me to start with! You just let me walk away. What the hell Bella? You just fucking gave up on us. Why would you do that?"

He was right of course, just as Alice had been right. But she'd had a reason behind letting him go. And the least she could do was tell him. The words came out almost garbled, mixed up, punctuated with the sobs that shook her body as she let herself cry for the first time in his presence since he came back. Her ribs protested but she couldn't find it in herself to care as she broke down.

"I tried so h- hard to fight him but I couldn't. I should have fought harder. And you- you're so good and brave and wonderful and- god you deserve the world. You deserve strong and beautiful and perfect. Not weak and pathetic and br-broken! That's why I- god I'm sorry. I'm so _so _sorry."

She put her head in her hands as sobs continued to shake her, whimpering occasionally at the stabbing pain of her broken ribs.

He didn't know what he had been expecting but it hadn't been that. He saw her now, shuddering with sobs with, he couldn't think of her as broken and he most definitely did not think of her as weak.

Shock made him freeze momentarily but as she continued to cry, shock and anger leached out of him and instinct took over as he gathered her in his arms. She stiffened for just a second before melting into his embrace her own arms going around him, her hands clutching his shirt over his shoulder blades.

As he gently slid his fingers through her hair and whispered how perfect she was, how brave even now, just in that moment, she believed him. In future she may doubt or dispute his words but right then within the safety of his arms, his words soft in her ear yet blazing with sincerity, she knew he meant every word he said.

They stayed like that for the longest time when she realized that there was something important that she was yet to tell him since he came back, the most important detail, really.

Lifting her head so that her chocolate eyes met his jade, she uttered softly the only truth she knew with complete conviction, "I love you."

He kissed her then, unable to resist, to wait a moment longer, his worries about any discomfort she may feel kissing a man completely put to rest when she melted further in his arms and brought her hands up to burry them in his hair.

It was not a kiss meant to lead to anything more, like so many of their kisses before. It was a kiss of sweet relief, of healing. It was a kiss of a promise of a future of which they had so far been so uncertain. It was their first step to mending, to living, together.

From the ashes the phoenix will rise, weak and feeble at first perhaps, but still holding on to faith, to hope of flying again. It keeps wishing for strength, for the freedom to fly; until one day, it does.

**THE END**

**A.N.- huh…feels weird writing that at the end of my very first fan-fic. Don't feel like bringing out any tissues though cause I've got a couple more buzzing in my head. So, now that I've done my job, don't be shy, review, review, review! **


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